Sunday, October 26, 2014

Fun Things I Can Still Eat

I know it may seem like Vegans survive on celery sticks and grass (which is sometimes what it feels like too...) but that isn't always the case. There are plenty of normal human foods that I can still eat. Most of these are accidentally Vegan, meaning the companies that produced these products didn't actually intend on this happening, but there are no complaints here.
I'm not a very big fan of these but it's nice to know I can eat something out of my dorm's vending machine.
2) Oreos.
Yes. Oreos. Every flavor. Now I'm not sure what exactly goes into Oreos... Like I'm looking at the package right now and I just don't understand. Well that's absolutely terrifying.
3)Unfrosted Pop-tarts
Again, I don't understand how exactly this can be Vegan but sure; I'll go with it.
4)Red Bull Energy Drinks
Ew. This stuff literally tastes like liquid sweet tarts and death.
5)Most Clif Bars
I pretty much survive on these at college. Actually, I survive on my suite-mate's Clif Bars... and the rest of her food. Also, Larabars are actually Vegan approved and are the best creation in the history of the Universe.

Since we're talking about fun foods that ARE Vegan, I think now's a good time to address the fakers. These are the dirty liars of the bunch. On that note, here are some things that, sadly, ARE NOT Vegan :(
1) Pumpkin Spice Lattes
This one hurts my soul so much you have no idea. Seriously. I'm personally offended. Even if you swap out your regular milk for soy you are still drinking condensed milk from the flavoring itself. Not to mention that there are no actual pumpkins in the recipe.
People always forget about this one. Honey comes from bees, therefore it is not a plant source. Anything with honey in the ingredients list is off limits.
3) Marshmallows/ Chewing Gum/ Jell-O
Gelatin. For all of you that don't know where gelatin comes from: It's basically just boiled bones, skin, tendons, ligaments, etc. YUM. Thankfully, the make Vegan marshmallows :)
4)Almost all dark Colas
Most of your sodas and processed drinks contain dyes made from insects or animals such as Red 40.
5) Certain Beers and Wines
Gelatin, isinglass (which is fish bladders), bone marrow, etc. Some Vegan examples are Redd's Apple Ale, Angry Orchard, Absolut Vodka, and Bacardi.
6) Anything with artificial Vanilla flavoring
Nothing better than some nice beaver anal secretions. This is not an exaggeration. They literally take secretions right out of the beaver's ass.

Always remember:
Animals are friends, not food.
Jasmine Millner

No comments:

Post a Comment